For the girls with big sweaters and thirsty hearts

Am I the only one who gets a little sad on the day after Christmas? All the feels. The world is moving on to the next big thing, the presents have been unwrapped and those bows made to sit just right have been unceremoniously tossed in the trash. Soon the boxes will come out to pack away the sparkling lights and handmade ornaments, the nativity scenes and jingle bells… they will once again find their home in the attic, waiting in the dark until it is the season of Light once again. It has always made me sad but I never stopped to think why until this year. I dismissively thought it was the kid in me wanting to hold on to happy Christmas music, lazy days with family, the extra sweets lying around, and all the pretty lights everywhere… but perhaps it goes a bit deeper.

Christmas is the coming of our hope.

That Jesus came to earth to be born as a human so he could one day sacrifice himself on the cross and take my punishment, so that I might know his eternal love… that is the Hope that was born on Christmas day all those years ago. (Yes, I’m aware that it is controversial and He probably wasn’t born on the exact day we celebrate Christmas, but that is the day we choose to celebrate His birth so just stick with me, okay?)

Emmanuel. God with us.

That means Christmas is not an ending of a season of joy… but a beginning! Hope doesn't end because the decorations are packed away and the stores no longer play happy Christmas music. Hope doesn't end because family and friends are scattered and we go back to the mundane.

Hope lives in our hearts and the only sadness comes from focusing on the external rather than the internal… oh Amanda, imagine what would happen if you carried this hope + peace + joy + love into the regular every day of the new year! What an adventure that would be! God with us. Do you see it? Stop living like it’s hopeless, stop letting sadness and stress control you, stop being that person you don’t want to be because hope is here. If we could but catch on to that, how things might change! Do you hear the joy? We don’t have to do this life-thing alone, because God is with us. I know you know this. So did I. But my life didn’t look like I believed it (and sometimes it still does not).

One of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp once said, “All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends.” But His love doesn’t end. So we don’t have to fear. So this coming year filled with the unknown doesn’t look quite so scary, and I don’t feel the need to plan every moment and stress about what’s next and how this-and-that will work out… because I have the peace of knowing that He is with me. He is not going anywhere.

But I’m human and I know it probably won’t even be a week before something happens and my forgetful heart gets frightened and the stress starts to climb back on my shoulders like some unforgiving weight… and this doubting Israelite will pull out the ratty oversized sweater of doubt and self-reliance and in putting it on again this sinner-girl will try to control and try to fix and try to make better… and the sweater will sap my strength and steal my joy and refuse to acknowledge peace because surely I’m too broken for Him to worry with me right now and once I get this sorted out we can walk together again.

And that Jesus who loves so much that He would leave His throne to come down and take the form of a baby, knowing that His purpose was to die for a people who rejected Him… He will just shake His head and whisper “Come.” He will offer a beautiful white dress that I left in a puddle at His feet to slip on the shabby sweater. Tears come as I see that my favorite dress- the one that makes me feel like a princess, it makes me radiant and my feet dance with joy- it is not stained from the mud I dropped it in but has new radiance from where He touched it… and I want that but I know I don’t deserve it… so I pull the sweater tight around me and keep saying, “I’ll figure it out. Maybe if I try harder I will do better at this life thing…” …and I reject Him and His gift again, so soon after proclaiming the joy and peace that knowing Him brings.

But this Jesus who loves so well, this persistent perfect Savior doesn’t leave me alone. He doesn’t give up on me. Instead He lights my way with coffee dates that speak life to my heart, breathtaking sunsets, hugs, songs, and Words that penetrate straight through that stained sweater to the longing heart beneath… “Come, Amanda. You who are weary and forgetful. Come, beloved. Come to my table, and be satisfied. I love you. I will never stop loving you.”

And that love echoes through the dark and the hard and takes the blinders off for just a moment and I remember… the answered prayers and impossible things and miracles and joys and hope and LIGHT …and He is still that Faithful God and oh I have been so foolish again! So I take off the sweater and pull on the dress. And it fits just right. So I spin and laugh and reclaim the joy and peace and love and hope… it never left, but my eyes were too busy looking at the darkness and fearing what may be to see the light and what is.

So maybe you're rolling your eyes at the analogy, but if you stop and get real with yourself for a second, doesn't the peace of this picture appeal to you? Aren't you thirsty for real satisfaction? Because who doesn't love a pretty dress that makes them feel radiant and confident and free? And you can't think about the way He loves us and cares for us, in spite of our stubborness, without feeling a little bit of giddy delight and a overwhelming realization: I am loved. I am chosen. I am not forgotten. No matter what the world says, no matter how they name you, if you are a child of God, your name is Beloved.

Life is a beautiful adventure. I want to live every moment and follow Jesus every step. I want to hold tight to hope and rest in His love and joy and peace. I want to be satisfied in Him. Because it’s not about what I can do, but the gift that He has so graciously given to every one of us. It’s not about pasting on a smile in the hard things but trusting in the One who has never ever failed His children. God doesn’t drop His babies on their heads.

So put on your dress, girl. Pull out those sparkly dancing shoes. Let’s keep celebrating the Hope we have and trusting the Star-breather to lead us through this life-dance.

Christmas may be over, but the celebration is just beginning.

Come.

 “Come, everyone who thirsts,

come to the waters;

and he who has no money,

come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

without money and without price.

Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,

and your labor for that which does not satisfy?

Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,

and delight yourselves in rich food.

Incline your ear, and come to me;

hear, that your soul may live;

and I will make with you an everlasting covenant,

my steadfast, sure love for David.

Behold, I made him a witness to the peoples,

a leader and commander for the peoples.

Behold, you shall call a nation that you do not know,

and a nation that did not know you shall run to you,

because of the Lord your God, and of the Holy One of Israel,

for he has glorified you.

“Seek the Lord while he may be found;

call upon him while he is near;

let the wicked forsake his way,

and the unrighteous man his thoughts;

let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him,

and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

(Isaiah 55:1-7)