chasing sunsets

So maybe I can’t tell you it will get easier. Maybe I can’t promise that it won’t get even harder. But I can promise you this… God’s love does not run out.

It’s fast approaching midnight and as much as my body wants rest, my heart will not rest until I put these words to paper. Because maybe you reading this feel a bit like me… wondering why life never seems to get any easier, only harder? Wondering how waking up tomorrow can be joyful when there is so much to do and no end in sight. Maybe your heart-dreams are on pause and you feel stuck in the in-between. Maybe you’re wondering when adulthood and responsibility showed up hand-in-hand camping out on your doorstep. Maybe you fight back tears all too often these days because life is freaking hard and the strength to keep running seems just out of reach. I see you. I hear you. You are not alone.

How many times a day does God have to remind me of this? Too many.

And yet He continues to love me.

I want you to know what a treasure you are. It has taken me way too many years to learn and believe my value in Christ. This love is the greatest story ever told, the most precious gift and the greatest source of joy. Because even on the hard days that love is still wrapping me up and drawing me close. And you too.

Sometimes it takes friends to point us back to this truth, sometimes it takes songs. Sometimes it takes five cups of coffee and tears in Cracker Barrel as joy spills over eyelids in the recounting of gifts given by the Provider. Sometimes it takes a sky painted with the colors of sunset… shades of light and cloud and glowing brilliance that no lens or brush could ever fully capture.

So when the fear whispers and the hard shouts and the days seem long and unending… look for the sunset. Chase the sunset. Find a mountain or a beach, a rooftop or a glimpse through the trees into a sky filled with color, painted differently daily by the One who delights in giving gifts to His children. Oh dear soul, don’t forget you are loved. Jesus knows you, look for His gifts. For me it’s the beauty in the sky that makes me look up and gasp in awe that He is bigger and higher but right here right now He knew I would see this and it would make my heart bow in wonder because, wow. And He gives me those long conversations over coffee and tea with friends that point me to truth and give me a tangible reminder that I am not in this life thing alone, nor is it up to me to make everything turn out okay.

I'm not saying this because I'm Miss Optimistic and life is hunky-dory. I'm writing this to you because the struggle is real and earlier this week I was curled in a ball crying, wondering why I chose nursing school and why Jesus gave me the dream to do missions when that means after this hard comes more hard. But Jesus. His love doesn't run out and neither does His grace. His promises are still true and His character does not change. He delights in having a relationship with us. He loves it when we run to Him for help, and He loves giving us little glimpses of light and unexpected gifts to watch our faces light up with joy. But if we never saw any darkness, how could we appreciate the light? If we never knew sorrow and hard, how could we appreciate His open arms that offer refuge and hope and peace and strength?

So when you feel like giving up, believe me I know. But you worked too hard to get here. You have breath in your lungs and a beating heart in your chest… and He isn’t giving up on you. So keep trekking, brave heart. Remember why you started. Remember how you got this far. Remember His love for you and see it written, “He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?... Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the One who was raised—who is at the right hand of God interceding for us… in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us…(Romans 8:32-37)”

So put your game face on. Let’s look for the joy that today holds and take the hard one step at a time… because you are not fighting this battle alone.

We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf.     Hebrews 6:19