By this time tomorrow we will be gone from this place. It will always be my home on the other side of the world. I'm leaving more than a little of my heart. Here, God taught me that I am not at all cut out to be a missionary... but He takes what is broken and makes it new and just so- He takes this flawed, selfish, sinner-girl and puts her through the refining fire of a short-term mission trip... and now she is a little bit more like the person God has planned for her to be. She knows a little bit more about taking care of herself (cooking over a campfire, washing laundry by hand), and cares a little bit less about silly creature comforts (I say a little bit less because I am still really looking forward to a hot shower and washing machines). She shared her testimony and the gospel countless times, and she has seen the beauty of a people the way God sees them. The beauty of a life transformed by the message of hope... nothing else in this world can compare. She's seen Jesus in the small things and learned to count it all joy. This girl has changed a bit. She has long, thick, unruly hair and strange tan lines. More than these things though, her heart has changed. Where before she was content with nursing school life... now she is looking beyond. Life is about more than just studies and many have yet to hear the Good News.
I have His hope in me to share with the world. Now that I have seen the need, lived in the need, and befriended the needy... I am responsible. My life is worth nothing unless I am poured out for Christ. This trip to the other side of the world confirmed that medical missions is my heart. Long term. I have no more specifics of what that will look like, but I don't need to right now. I just know that my life is not my own and there is much freedom in saying that, because God can do much greater things with me surrendered than with me planning my way. Nehemiah Teams has been a huge help in this summer of ministry and self-discovery. From arranging supervisors and mission locations to the discipleship materials, I have been blessed. I have learned what it means to be a World Christian, and as disciples of Jesus we are COMMANDED, not called, to be part of reaching the nations with the love of Jesus.
So I am saying goodbye to a season and a people that have taught me much. My eyes leak drops of love and joy... He isn't finished with us yet. (Philippians 1:6)
I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back.
No turning back.
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