Some days I just feel like running away. Running until the chaos and demands of life are far behind me, and I'm lost. Lost somewhere in the woods, far away from everyone, but close to Jesus, kneeling at the feet of my Creator.

When you're overwhelmed and empty, you need that time to get alone with God and get lost in His Word. Although I couldn't run away and get lost today, I did escape for a while into the woods... just me, my Bible, and Jesus.

I just want to share the view, and a little of what God showed me...


"For this is what the Lord says: 'I will extend peace to her like a river... As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you... the hand of the Lord will be made known to his servants." (Isaiah 66:12-14)


Then I camped out in Hebrews for a while...


Chapter 4: Entering God's rest is an important part of hearing from God and being changed by the Word of God. If you're always busy, then you have no time to rest at God's feet and let Him fill you with His power.

"Let us hold firmly to the faith we profess" (4:14) Even when you're overwhelmed and empty... hold firmly to your faith, and find your confidence in Him so that "we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (4:16)

Jesus offered up prayers, and "he was heard because of his reverent submission" (5:7) God hears the prayers of those who are obedient, who submit to his will, regardless of their understanding of the circumstances. And Christ "learned obedience from what he suffered" (5:8) Learning obedience is rarely easy; often it's a tough, painful lesson that we all must learn in order to be effective servants of Christ.

However, we have the promise of his blessing, "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf." (6:19-20)

"Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith... Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on to love and good deeds." (10:22-24) We know the road will be hard, we know He has promised to never leave us, and we have Jesus interceding on our behalf; therefore, draw near to God and stand firm in your faith. Encourage others in love, pour into others, because God has poured into you.

10:35-39... Be confident in Christ, persevere, and live by faith

Chapter 11... Reading this made me realize what little faith I have, and how mighty our God is... to take ordinary people who had even the smallest bit of faith, multiply it, and work extraordinarily throughout their lives.

Chapter 12:1- Run with perseverance, 12:2- Fix your eyes on Jesus, 12:3- Consider Him, do not grow weary or lose heart

So, run away from the world. Find you a spot in the the midst of His creation to look up in wonder and look inward at your heart. Let God move, let God shape you... and walk away with a lighter, fuller heart. Be overwhelmed by his grace and love. See how he brings beauty from ashes...

Sustainer

"But You are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me." Psalm 3:3-5

Sometimes you just get to that point where you don't think you can go any further. The world as you know it has come crashing down, and you feel alone. Set adrift, cut loose from the moorings of comfort and routine, left to rediscover what to do with the ashes of your former self. With burnt hands you approach the altar, broken, bruised, battered, longing just to know why. Why life has to be so hard. Kneeling in brokenness, tears fall. Tears of pain, water droplets crystallizing the trial. Tears falling down on tea colored wood, the altar of the Lord. That's where they should be. Your brokenness and pain, on the altar for God to use. For Him to transform. Let Him bind up your brokenness and build on the foundation of realizing that you are at the end of yourself. Let Him draw you close. Sometimes He lets us get burned just so we will turn to Him. So he can pull us close and put aloe and band-aids on our burned hands. He loves us so. We cry in pain, try to blame, push away… then fall helpless and hurting into his arms.
Let Him carry you. This storm will rage, the shadows of the valley loom, but He is here. He is here.

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

"Even though I feel so lonely, like I have never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you'd see me through the storm"

"For Thou O Lord
Are a shield to me
My glory and the lifter of my head"

Time in the valley doesn't mean a gray cloud of sadness follows you like a shadow. Instead, one moment is filled to the brim with happiness, and the next drops you into a pit of despair... At least it has been so in my experience.
The only way to travel through the valley is to trust He has a plan, and take each day as it comes… step by step. Trusting that His grace is sufficient for this moment, for this hour, for today.
Trials bring strengthening of faith, so my heart's cry… Help me in my unbelief! I believe, even in my unbelief. I trust, even in my confusion. I love you, even in the valley.

Why? Why? Why? That's the consuming question when darkness surrounds and tears drown…
But maybe...maybe the King of the Universe is captivated by you. Maybe He loves you so much He just wants you closer. Maybe the only way you'll ever come close enough is if He sends trials
...and the pain sends you running into His open arms.
Maybe it's crazy, but maybe it's true.
"The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands." Psalm 138:8

"The pathway is broken, and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why you brought me here.
But just because You love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if You want me to.
Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise, You're not through with me yet.
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
then I will go through the fire if you want me to
It may not be the way I would've chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
but you never said it would be easy
You only said I would never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me, and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to." (Ginny Owens)

Is Jesus Really Enough?

"All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You're the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You’re my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You’re the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me" -Chris Tomlin "Enough"

We sang this song tonight at church, and I just thought about the words as I was singing...Yes, He is more than enough for me... but do I live like it? When we run around trying to make life work our way, implement our plan... are we really living like He's enough? When we worry and stress (yes, I'm guilty) we are not trusting and we are saying that he's not enough, as if by worrying we can change or fix anything. When you're out of your comfort zone (freshman in college..hello?), when your friends are far away, and when you can't seem to hear God... will you still trust that He is enough?
Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." John 6:35
He knows my every moment. So often, He just wants me to slow down, sit at his feet, and be still before Him. To listen. To worship. Or simply to rest. On days (like yesterday) when I'm confused about life and subconsciously stressing about everything... He wants me to come spill my heart to him in prayer... and then trust that He's got it under control. So, now I'm waiting for God to show me the next step. But you know what? It's okay, because He is more than enough for me.
One more song reference...the cry of my heart (especially in the middle of this confusion):
"Lord here am I won't You send me to
The broken and the weak
To the desperate and forgotten Lord
I'm giving You everything
All my selfish plans, my greedy hands
My hope in the American dream
Lord I give my life, lay down my pride
I'm giving You everything, God,
Here am I send me
I’ll follow wherever You lead
I will tell the world that Jesus is the way
Send me Lord here I am
I offer my dreams my plans
I will give my life a living sacrifice
Lord here I am"
-Matt Papa "Here I Am, Send Me"

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do and He will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Light of the Village

It would probably make the most sense if I started with the story of what God has done in my life up to this point, but since that is a rather long story I will just type what is on my heart today...
Yesterday I went to the Light of the Village block party. Light of the Village is an inner-city ministry that provides classes, tutoring, activities, camps, and a safe place for kids to spend time and learn about Jesus. It was in the ghetto, the families were broken, and the children were barefoot with dirty clothes... my thoughts? This is home. This is where I am called to serve. Among the broken and dirty and unloved. So I jumped right in and loved those children. We played and ran and jumped and laughed until I was exhausted. The exhaustion was so sweet though... because it was colored with joy. Pure joy and happiness at being able to live my passion by serving and loving on kids. For just a few hours they were able to be carefree and know that someone cared... and that someone was waiting at the end of the slide to catch them whaen they came down.
Life lesson learned? It's the little moments that make the difference.
When I come hurtling down the slide- out of control and dizzy from the ride- He is there to catch me, brush me off, set me back on my feet, and lead me in the right direction.
"Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." Psalms 25:4-5