the adventure of saying yes

You have to be some sort of brave to say yes to God. After all, He rarely outlines His plan and all the details in advance. The key to this type of adventure is faith. Trusting God has it all together when you can't see how the pieces fit. After all, adventures aren't always fun. Sometimes they are hard and exhausting. Your purpose in adventuring determines whether or not you keep going. In this missionary journey, the purpose is to share the story of Jesus. I've learned a lot on this adventure- hard to believe there is only a week more on this bit of earth before the journey back to the states. But I have a feeling this adventure will linger. I've learned much about myself and my Jesus that I cannot wait to share, but there is also a fire deep in my heart that cannot be quenched. I need to talk about the hope and love and grace and greatness of my Jesus. Like a fish needs water. I'm not especially brave nor do I have much faith. More often than not the "Oh you of little faith..." statements of Jesus prick this doubting heart... But I've learned the secret- just say yes. Saying yes brought me to the Philippines- the opposite side of the world from where I thought I would be. Saying yes brought several new brothers and sisters in Christ and many new friends. Saying yes brought laughter and joy and countless new experiences with a team that God designed. Saying yes put me waaaay out of my comfort zone and made me fall only on God. Saying yes brought struggles and sickness and tears and scraped knees and exhaustion. Saying yes brought chipped toenail polish from kneeling on cement praying fervently for His kingdom to come, His will to be done.
My prayer is to never stop saying yes to God. The day I stop is the day I have forgotten what is truly important, and I might as well stop wasting oxygen. My prayer for you, right now reading this? that somehow, someway you see Jesus in these words and realize that saying yes Lord, your will be done in my life, yes Lord I will go, yes Lord I will speak, yes Lord... is the only way to truly live because he alone knows all you are capable of accomplishing in Him. Be brave because He is worth it all, and walking with Jesus is the best kind of adventure.

be brave

Darkness to light

For the love of Christ compels us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 2 Corinthians 5:14

Truly truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life will lose it and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. John 12: 24-25

Two weeks since I last blogged and much has happened. Our bible studies have produced fruit and we have several new brothers and sisters in Christ. God's Word does not return to him empty! He is using these weak and broken vessels to carry the treasure of the gospel to these people hungry for truth. Many believe simply being good is enough- they do not understand the richness of the gift of Jesus and the need, desperate need we have for him because we are such sinners. My team and I are learning to pray without ceasing and seek him more and more. God is also showing up in awesome ways. 

Let me tell you a story... When we arrived in the barangay at the beginning of June we heard of a man who had been attacked by another man with a machete. This week, that man and his wife (Kuya and Ate) came to our house. In the hospital, he was so cut up that no one expected him to survive... as he told the story the still fresh scars on his disfigured face and stretching down beneath his shirt gave testament to the brutality of the attack. Then he said - we have come because we want to know more about Jesus. When I was dying I had a vision of Jesus kneeling at my feet, weeping. Tears filled his good eye "I want to know him." Our translator, Jinky, has a similar testimony about her father that caused her fmily to turn to Christ and she shared about God's grace and His ability to use terrible things for good. Grace, who that very morning had prayed for God to send us someone wanting to know Him, shared the gospel. Tears of joy flowed freely as they prayed. We then felt led to bring up the subject of forgiveness for this man's attacker. Their response astounded us- Kuya said he had already forgiven him- he wants him to know Jesus too. Ate said Kuya told the man's brother, when he visited the man in jail, to tell him Kuya was praying for him and all was forgiven. Both smiled in quiet joy and spoke of the peace they felt after visiting us and learning about Jesus. To say we were completely amazed by the ways of God is an understatement!
Ate is 9 months pregnant (now at the time I am finally getting to type this, she had the baby on a Sunday morning 2 weeks ago... we stopped by on our way to church and she was in labor... 15 minutes later out came a beautiful baby boy! Truly a miracle and we were so blessed to be there to watch/help!) We have had several chances to visit and talk with her and every time I walk away humbled and in awe of my Jesus. To take such darkness and turn it into such LIGHT! Wonderful, redeeming love.

 

Jemuel, 2 minutes into life

The pages of my Bible come alive in this place. There is no greater joy than carrying my little candle, my light, my treasure into darkness. And maybe I can die to myself a little bit more each day, so this vessel can be emptied of me and filled with Him, so that light can shine brighter.
We read mission articles and biographies during our team time that also cause us to grow as disciples (so thankful for Nehemiah Teams- I recommend it to everyone!). One quote that stood out to me this week was from a sermon by C.T. Studd, "Should such men as we fear? Before the whole world, aye before the sleepy, lukewarm, faithless, namby- pamby Christian world, we will dare to trust our God; we will venture out all for HIm; we will live, and we will die for Him, and we will do it with His joy unspeakable singing in our hearts. We will a thousand times sooner die trusting only in our God than live trusting in man. And when we come to this position, the battle is already won, and the end of the glorious campaign in sight. We will have the real Holiness of God... one of daring faith and works for Jesus Christ. "
My heart is full. I'm having a hard time believing we will be leaving here in 2 short weeks. Keep praying for God to bring disciples who will make disciples!
On the quirky side: We celebrated the 4th of July with smores and watermelon. We have all discovered our favorite veggie, as a team, is eggplant. I ate a really sketchy SNAIL this week (that's a funny story, ask me about it when I get home). American girls with an needy sweet tooth can do anything... including making french toast with brown sugar, powdered milk, eggs, and rolls... for dinner. I'm also pretty much a pro at taking manual blood pressure...haha
---more to come---

---the family that has my heart---

Praise the One who brings LIGHT!

Jemuel (2 weeks old) and big brother Teben 

Halfway.

Bible studies on the front porch with the sweetest girls, 15 circumcisions (in very warm room with headlamps because if we opened the windows the whole town would watch), laughter, and riding a water buffalo.
Never a dull day here in the Philippines!

God is here.
God is moving.
Yesterday, church was so full that we had to bring in chairs.
Spending time with the team on our knees in prayer and God is leading our hearts to the same thing-- Isaiah 44:3 "For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground..." God is pouring His Spirit out and all I can say is amen, come Lord Jesus and church, keep on praying!
We are at the halfway point of the summer and we are realizing more than ever that although missionary life is h.a.r.d., there is so much joy in serving the Lord and obeying His command to go and tell the nations.
We talk often about how words cannot express what God is doing and what we are learning... but one thing we can share is that there is a NEED in the world and a deep hunger for hope and the ONLY one that can fill that is Jesus Christ. I would so much rather be uncomfortable for the rest of my life, feet dirty and dusty from going and telling than clean and comfortable and content in America. This is my heart and the wellspring of Life in you should motivate you also to want to go... because people need to know. But I won't get on my soapbox now because my internet time is limited... ;)
An excerpt from the story of the missionary Amy Carmichael:
"Dear, you are coming to a battlefield. You cannot spend too much time with him alone. You are soldiers and soldiers don't ask for ease or expect it. You are warriors and when did warriors ask for an easy time? Or no wound? Or no heart-breaks?"
As disciples of Christ, our lives are not our own. The road will be hard, but God has promised that His word does not return to Him empty and we are simply commanded to go and tell. I am getting the awesome privilege of seeing God move as I walk in obedience, in spite of the hard.
Keep praying for us and for the work God is doing here!
Thank you for all of your love and support. I couldn't be here without you.
God is faithful, and He is the Provider.
Much love!

Maibu... how beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring the good news

Home sweet home. For the summer at least! My team and I have now been in the Barangay (village) of Maibu for a full week. I love it here. We are up in the mountains and the family we are staying with are pretty much the sweetest ever. There is always a pile of flip flops at the door and a house full of laughing, running children any time we are home. It's joyful. My heart is so full with all God is doing. Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers!
Words can't really describe the beauty here, and the beauty of the people. Smiles bright on brown skin and the deepest, most generous hearts beat within these strong people. Laughter and music abound, and we all sit for hours talking and learning from each other.
Each day we go into homes to offer healthcare and talk about life and Jesus. Some days people pull us off the street where we are buying barbequed sagine (bananas) to look at a deep machete wound and we pray and bind up the wound. Some days a bible study is what God uses to bind up heart wounds... in the people and in us. Some days we are simply walking down the street, followed by a crowd of children clinging to our clothes and hands (that's every day, actually- now we understand why Jesus got on a boat to teach), laughing and talking and living love. We have bible studies, share testimonies, play with children and hear about the grace of God in from the lips of believers in Cebuano.
Some days, ministry finds us.
Here is a bit from yesterday:
In the middle of siesta, 9 teenage girls showed up on our front porch. This is a normal occurrence, but not usually that early in the afternoon. They asked us to tell them stories about our lives, and so we did... pointing it all back to Jesus. After talking about the gospel and what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus, Jordan (my teammate) asked if any would like to talk more about salvation. We now have two new sisters in Christ! So. much. joy.
God is moving here, especially among the young people. I am so blessed to be able to come alongside them and help make disciples. God is stirring in the hearts of these people. He is using this broken, unworthy vessel to carry the treasure of the gospel.
I am in love with these people, this country, and more than anything, my JESUS.
Thank you for praying!
Much love.

I have decided to follow Jesus

...No turning back.
 And this is where it gets real.
My time here in the Philippines has already been so full of joy and hard. I love it. When we arrived we were immediately immersed in the culture and although it was overwhelming at the time, it helped so much. This is my way of life now. I wake up at 5:30 am with the sun, wash my clothes from the day before in a bucket, cook rice and eggs for breakfast over a fire, have some quiet time with Jesus and then with my team (Grace, Lauren, and Jordan---they're the best, y'all) and then we spend the day telling people about Jesus. House to house, bringing the word of Life with us wherever we go, offering to take the blood pressure and do first aid, listening to the heartbeat of the people as we share our stories and listen to theirs. The heartbeat of this people group is one of welcome and friendship. It's beautiful. Around noon is siesta because it is literally too hot to move. haha... Dinner and lunch are both made over the fire (so thankful for the help of our translators! These white girls do not know how to cook like this!) Normally after a bucket bath we fall into bed around 8pm (the sun sets at 6pm)... sweet rest under mosquito nets, praying for a cool breeze.
This is so. different. from the comfortable American way of life. So why did I pay to come endure the heat and humidity and discomfort?? Because Jesus Christ is worth. it. all.

"I consider my life worth nothing to me if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me, the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Acts 20:24

Thank you thank you for your prayers! We seriously cannot do this without our brothers and sisters praying for us back home. I know I am weak but my God is strong in me. Pray for us to quickly overcome jet lag and culture shock. Pray for our bodies to adjust to the heat. Pray for the people we are meeting, that they will become friends and that we can share life with them and learn from them as well as share the love and hope of Jesus that we have.
Much love to you all!
p.s. For those of you who want more details- time is limited in the internet cafe, but as you know I am an avid journal-keeper, so every detail is being recorded! haha

Praying like Nehemiah

Eleven days until training starts with Nehemiah Teams. 19 days until I board a plane to the other side of the world. This morning my heart is humbled and full of gratitude. Never could I have guessed what this summer would hold. I still have very little idea as far as the details go... but it's okay. You see, I thought I would be going back to Camp Highland... but God had other plans. Oh and I'm sure He laughed when this silly girl prayed and prayed and prayed for chances to go and then He provided an opportunity out of the blue and I said, "Oh, but I didn't mean now"...but I'm so glad that God is bigger than my stubborn planner-brain and He said GO and then prepared the way for me. Truly I am blown away by his faithfulness. You would think I had soul amnesia-- how often I forget that HE IS FAITHFUL and He will do what He has promised. God's timing is not my timing and part of me is butterflies-in-my-tummy and Type-A-planner-on-overdrive about this trip, but the larger part of me is full of peace and almost giddy with joy. This is a God-dream from the deep of my heart, coming true!
So as I'm gathering the last few things for my trip and thinking back on this semester I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has supported me in prayer and financially. You are the reason I can go.
I am learning much about trusting the character of God when I cannot see His hand in the circumstances. This semester was h.a.r.d. I realized I had to let it go (cue singing Frozen)...but really. I cannot micromanage my life. All I can do is be right here, right now, and walk in the way God has shown me... and trust that He will take care of the rest. And He does. I passed my first year of nursing school. I managed to keep my job and make it to every clinical despite not having a car for 3 months. In the middle of all the studying and stress, God poured his provision through friends and family and I counted the blessings and realized my mission trip was fully funded. God provided people to give me rides and helped my parents find me a car. Worrying about it did not make it better, and it did not make anything happen more quickly. It only took my eyes of Jesus to focus on my own insufficiency. I know I can't do it. My Jesus can. His character is unchanging, and He hears His children when they call.
Fear has no place among the Beloved.

Typhoon Haiyan hit the Philippines 6 months ago. The island I will be living on for the summer is next to the island that was hardest hit by the typhoon... but over here in America it is so easy for me and everyone else to be so detached from the thousands who died and the children without parents and the people without homes because I have a roof over my head and my next meal is simply a matter of what I choose to eat. I do not know what their life looks like. I cannot pretend to understand how it feels to starve, and watch your family die around you and scrounge for food in the trash. But I want to help, I want to offer hope because I am no different from them and the reason I have more is so that I might give it away and so my life might be spent in the pouring out of Jesus. He is the only good in me that I have to offer.
Biblical compassion is characterized by action.
So I am ready to board that plane and have my life come tumbling down around me because I know I will be broken by what I see these next few months. And this is good.
I want to learn to pray like Nehemiah ... he heard about the plight of the Jews and "As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven..." (Nehemiah 1:4). Nehemiah had a life far removed from the troubles of the Jews, yet as soon as he heard of their troubles he was on his knees before God in prayer for them. He then used his position, as cupbearer to the king, to obtain the permission and supplies to go help. He trusted in the hand of God, went to Jerusalem, saw the impossible that God was telling him to do (rebuild the whole wall? Really God? You can't be serious....? It's destroyed! That will take years. I'm only one person...<<< that's what I imagine Nehemiah was thinking)... oh but Nehemiah trusted the character of God! He inspected the walls, recognized the extent of the damage, and then gathered the people, "You see the trouble we are in [we---Nehemiah becomes one with the people, taking their struggles upon himself], how Jerusalem lies in ruins with its gates burned. Come, let us build the wall of Jerusalem that we may no longer suffer derision. And I told them of the hand of my God that had been upon me for good..." (2:17-18)
He told them of God's faithfulness in getting him to that point, so that they might join him in trusting the character of God to make a way for this seemingly impossible task of rebuilding the wall. Chapter 2 ends with Nehemiah proclaiming to those who doubt, "The God of heaven will make us prosper, and we his servants will arise and build..."
Trust the character of God, even in the face of the "impossible" because God can rebuild the broken.
The Creator can bring life from the rubble.
My Jesus can take a comfortable worry-prone stubborn daughter and make her a vessel of His glory to bring hope to the nations.
The hand of my God has been upon me for good, and He isn't finished yet.

Thank you for your prayers! Please continue to pray for unity for our team, safe and complication-free travel, open doors in the Philippines, and for His light to break down walls, and rebuild the broken.
I am thankful for you!

Much love!
Amanda

To die...

I didn't know it would look like this.

When I painted the quote on bits of burlap and cardboard at the beginning of this school year, I had no idea what was coming. I happily hung it in the living room of our apartment, over the verse from Colossians 3:2-3 "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." I didn't know this simple quote from Peter Pan and a long-ago memorized verse from Colossians would stare back at me many months later as a glaring reminder... it IS an adventure. But not the kind I would have ever chosen. Isn't it funny though? Adventures seem to work that way. You don't necessarily get to pick what kind you want, but you do get to pick your response. Now where is my focus? As I sit in the living room with my miles-long to-do list, heart full of questions, no answers, no relief in sight... just a word to fix my mind on things above.... I'm learning. Trusting God means keeping my focus ever upward. Before I get out of bed in the morning, looking up and saying I can't do this without you Jesus. The death of myself- I thought I died long ago, when I gave my heart to Jesus- is a daily thing. Choosing HIS will, not mine. Trusting HIS timing, not my control. Recognizing that I am nothing and I can't fix this, but I. know. the. One. who. can.
And there is peace in that. So I choose adventure over comfort, because with each faltering step, I am becoming more like my Jesus.
Dying means losing control of yourself. This perfectionist, slightly OCD, planner personality really dislikes being out of control... and this semester is a picture of chaos. I have no control. And God is good in my mess. He is still in the details. He is Faithful. So today, this minute, I will choose joy by remembering, "It is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come" 2 Corinthians 1:21-22. He isn't done with me yet. This morning I was clinging to Psalm 9:10, "Those who know your name will trust in You, for You, O Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You."
And so I will keep finding beauty in these ashes, because the Refiner's fire is making me whole...
"I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call upon my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'the Lord is our God'" Zechariah 13:9

If you want to say a prayer for this weary heart, I would be so thankful. Pray that I continue to choose joy and trust God. Pray for the people of the Philippines where I will be spending my summer and the team I will be working with. Pray for God to provide. I am confident He will.
God be with you.
Amanda