Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God."
John 6:68-69
I can identify so much with Peter. Following his story in the Bible, you see how real and human he was. This is the guy who cut off the guard's ear in a fit of passion, trying to protect Jesus... the guy who spoke out of turn, acted impulsively, doubted despite everything, denied Christ when it counted because he was scared.... yet Jesus called him the Rock on which he was going to build his church. Because despite Peter's glaring flaws, he LOVED Jesus. More than anything. He left his life behind to follow Him, and he served with humility. Despite his doubts, Peter didn't always blow it. Sometimes he was the only one who got it right. That quote above? That's what Peter said after Jesus gave his disturbing speech about his body being eaten like bread and his blood poured out like wine to drink. After that memorable speech, many turned back and no longer followed him, and the disciples grumbled among themselves. Jesus asked if they too would go away, and Peter nailed it- where would we go??? YOU are the only one worth following, worth giving one's life for. Peter believed this so much that he was later martyred for his faith, on an upside down cross because he refused to be crucified right side up, considering himself not worthy to die in the exact same manner as Jesus. Y'all. Are you hearing me? Peter got it. despite his flaws, imperfections, massive screw-ups and fears... He followed Jesus with all that he had, all the love in his heart.
One of my favorite stories of Peter is when Jesus came out to them, walking on the water, and Peter said, "Lord if it's really you, tell me to come to you." Jesus said "Come" and Peter jumped out of the boat and started walking on the water. What. He. walked. on. water. Did you catch that? Talk about strong faith... Peter believed, and Jesus sustained. We know that when Peter stopped looking at Jesus and started looking at the wind and the waves he got scared and started to sink (who wouldn't? It's the middle of a storm, remember??) But Jesus -that gracious, compassionate, ever-faithful Savior of ours- reached out his hand and lifted him where he was sinking. "Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt Me?" Yes, indeed. Why, in our humanity, are we so quick to doubt the One who even this moment is sustaining you- keeping your heart beating and the breath moving in and out of your lungs, blood and oxygen perfusing the tissues of your body so you can wiggle those fingers and toes, the neurons in your brain synapsing millions of time as you read this and think ...and all of this without you controlling a bit of it... because He is sustaining you.
I think we can learn a lot from Peter. I know I am. Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a journey and then looked around and wondered how exactly did I get here? Well, that's me. Right now. I think this particular journey started back in May, walking the polished floors of St. Peter's Basilica and the cobblestone streets of Italy. No, that's not a coincidence. It's a God-thing. Learning to let the Holy Spirit move freely in my life has been a process, because for so long I have tried to control everything and plan every detail of my life. But like Peter, I know there is no where I want to go except following hard after Jesus... so the doubt has to stop. I have to jump out of the boat where I have been fruitlessly wrestling with the sails, the wind and salt stinging my face as I try to keep the boat on course by sheer willpower and brute strength, trying trying trying to make life fit some manageable plan and refusing to admit defeat.... but I have to look up, beyond myself, into the scary unknown ...Isn't that Jesus? He's walking on water???! Forget this... Hey Jesus! I want to be where you are!
And He said Come.
And I'm going to the Philippines this summer.
I jumped out of the boat, and yep these waves are pretty big and scary, not going to lie.
But my eyes are on my Sustainer.
He knows the need.
He knows the cost of the trip, my lack of money, my inadequacy, my fears, my doubts, my insecurities... and He says come.
So I'll walk across the ocean with Him, and the freedom in this journey is blowing my mind, one step at a time.
Truly, my friend, His faithfulness endures forever, and when He says "Come" He will not let you sink.
So, what are you waiting for??? GO. Follow Him. He alone has the words of eternal life.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the water
wherever you would call me...
And I did end the post there but I can't... not without telling you of a few of the ways He has already been faithful...
This trip wasn't my idea at all, I thought I would be going back to Camp Highland this summer... but God had other plans that involved getting me out of the comfortable and seeing just how far I would trust Him. So I heard about the trip through Nehemiah Teams and I applied, and found out there were more connections and confirmations than I had dreamed of, and then I got accepted to the Rural Healthcare team and starting writing letters... but I had to buy plane tickets and the price kept going up and I didn't have the money... and God provided. Money from school that was "leftover" from last semester that I could use until the support comes in (because I need that money to pay back loans). And He sent wise friends to help me not stress and navigate the confusing websites of international airlines to buy plane tickets in the middle of the crazy of a brand new semester of nursing school and the overwhelming responsibilities... and so my plane tickets are purchased and I'm in the place of waiting and praying and trusting that He will continue to provide... because I desperately want to have trust in Him that eclipses the borders of my plan, the known, the comfortable, the familiar... and reaches far to step amongst the waves and shout the glory of His faithfulness.
Please join me in praying for this journey!
Much love.
