At any given time, half the tabs on my computer are normally open to sites relating to India or missions or medical mission stories/opportunities. My heart longs to go, but at the same time I value these seasons of preparation so so much! The other day I contacted and received a reply from MedSend... dreams are becoming reality! It's a bit frightening, but I am so in awe of God. He has directed me this far and will continue to guide me. Why is is frightening? It means I have to grow up... and looking ahead the road is only going to get harder. How can it get harder when I've already experienced beyond what I thought I could bear? Because God's strength never ends, and he refined me and made me stronger in that fire. I am so grateful for this past semester. It was a constant headache, it was hard, it seemed pointless and hopeless more days than not... but I grew. I was at the end of myself and I had to trust that God had a greater purpose. He did. He does. I want to weep when I think of His great love and grace- His ever faithful hand guiding me even when I'm freaking out because of the storm around me. Oh how wonderful is the name of my Lord Jesus! I think that is the main thing I want to do this Christmas... sit at His feet in awe and praise. Wondering at His majesty and goodness. Thanking Him with my every breath for His selfless, sustaining love. My Jesus, how great you are! So I will approach that manger softly barefoot, in a silent surrender of my will to His, wondering at this bright Son in a humble manger... He became man so that men might know Him! Such knowledge is too wonderful for me!
"Here I raise my Ebenezer, whither by Thy help I come. And I pray by Thy good pleasure safely to arrive at home. Jesus saw me when a stranger wandering from the fold of God. Then to rescue me from danger, interposed His precious blood. Oh to grace, how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be! Let Thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above."
Here I raise my Ebenezer- my stone in remembrance of what God has done.
He has led me this far, He has saved me, He has called me, He has shown me his glory... and what He has yet to do I can't begin to know or imagine!
Ebenezer means "Thus far the Lord has helped us"
He has been my Helper. My All.
Thank you, my Jesus.
On days when I don't want to look up because I simply can't seem to find the strength for that movement ...I will return to this ebenezer. My God is always faithful. Even when believing is hard because the world screams otherwise, my heart knows the One who holds power over the wind and the waves. Faith is not an elusive idea, rather it's a conscious choice to look up, beyond yourself.
Much love to all, and Merry Christmas!
