And so I sit down once again, with my head full of thoughts, my heart full of memories, and my hands just itching to flit across the keyboard and share with the world what I’ve learned. Oh , summer… the elusive wisp of childhood that whispers of a place called Neverland and the carefree days of endless play. My summer had a taste of Neverland, but it was so much more than that. Join me in a trek through the north Georgia mountains to a place that captured my heart and taught me to love…
Camp Highland. When I arrived on the first day I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Driving through the gate in misty rain, I worried about making friends and fitting in and being able to share my heart with young girls… then I put my stuff down in a cabin with no air conditioning and 12 bunk beds and sighed… could I really do this? Then I walked onto the field and joined a staff game of Ultimate Frisbee. Could I do this? Yes. We were all kids here, just playing and loving Jesus together. Exchanging names as we passed the Frisbee, running hard because you knew from the moment you stepped on the field that here at Camp Highland we “play hard.” Then eating lunch on the porch and discovering camp traditions and making friends… yes, I could do this; something about it just felt like coming home.
From then training began. I hiked so many hills and ate more than I ever had in my life. I dug into the Word as if my life depended on it, because it did. I knew from the beginning that it would take a miracle and a lot of Jesus to make it through the summer. We went from 7 til midnight without stopping, and then started all over again the next day. I was learning to harness and belay, going through high ropes courses that terrified me, jumping off of high things, and trusting, always trusting. Whether it was trusting my team to not let me fall at low ropes, trusting my belayer on the rock climbing wall, trusting my harness on the zip line, or trusting my Jesus to give me strength, I was learning to trust as never before. I discovered a side of myself that craved adventure and loved the thrill of putting all my trust in Jesus and taking that leap of faith. I learned to stop holding on so tightly to the ropes that I could see and instead to reach out in faith- He never failed to catch me. Our team bonded so quickly and I laughed at the thought that I was once scared I wouldn’t make friends. These people were my family, and whether we were sitting in the bathroom praying strength over each other or running until we couldn’t breathe chasing a Frisbee- we had each other’s’ backs.
Then came the first Monday morning of the first week one, where excitement was a living thing that bounced all over camp shouting “The kids are coming! The kids are coming!”… From that moment on my life was not the same. All my training and time spent in prayer and preparation came down to this… the forming of relationships between camper and counselor, each learning to open their heart and seek Jesus together. We had so much fun! Whether I was in Cabin 12 with the oldest girls or Cabin 7 with the 7th graders, I was learning and teaching and praying and seeking... and it was exhausting. To pour out so much of yourself to girls who sometimes did not respond, to be full of energy and excitement all the time, to run around in tribal screaming Kikuyu until you were hoarse, to pray until the tears fell over a little girl’s soul… and I learned what it meant to be empty. Empty- nothing left to give. How could I possibly be empty when I knew the Sustainer? I had tried to do it on my own, with His help. What I didn’t realize was that none of me was enough to do any of it. It was all Him. When I relinquished control and stopped saying “I can do it, Jesus, just give me the strength,” and instead I cried, “I can’t do this Jesus, you can”…He did. He gave me strength and joy and peace like I had never felt before. I learned what it was to need Him with every fiber of my being. Although I still was getting much too little sleep for the amount of activity filling my days, tired was no longer a word in my vocabulary. However, I was constantly hungry for His Word. It was a beautiful place to be- so broken and empty, yet whole and filled by the Father- daily.
He taught me patience and how to extend grace. Over everything, He taught me to put on love. Every girl had a story, some which would break your heart. Many tears were cried in conviction, and others cried (by me) in frustration. What would it take to reach these girls? Girls with walls built up around their hearts and scars from people and broken trust… girls with stories that I had never experienced… girls that needed Jesus… how do you reach them? Love. By loving without discrimination, without a filter, without a limit… loving with His agape love that knows no end. Loving like that is impossible… but I tried. I tried and failed many times over, but praise God that he makes beautiful things out of my broken attempts. He reached those girls, He broke down those walls, and He simply used me to speak a word or a prayer or give a comforting touch. I learned what it meant to be patient though not seeing how Jesus was moving, and how to extend grace even when I was empty and tired of loving. I learned to see Jesus in the little things and how to talk about Him in all things. Whether we were walking up from the lake and helping the girls remember not to complain, or I was sitting by the fire sharing Jesus with two hungry hearts… every moment was centered around… Jesus. And that made every sleepless night, every exhausted tear, every scrape and bruise, every missed night off worth it. Because the summer was about those kids and the amazing work that He was doing in each one of their lives. The summer was not about me and what I could do, because I couldn’t do anything apart from Him. I was humbled and refined by fire on that mountain… and I am so glad I was there, not India. God had a perfect plan, and I needed that training and to learn those heart lessons before I went to the mission field. I do not know when He will send me to India, but I know to patiently wait on His timing because it is better than I could dream.
When it came time to leave there were many tears... because the mountains hold a peice of my heart, and we were saying goodbye to family. God gave me sisters and brothers in Christ who now live miles and miles away... but we are connected by our passion to love and serve and share Jesus. It was so hard for me to leave, because there I had a specific way to serve and love and share.... and back at school my way of serving is less defined and my days aren't full of adventure and talking about Jesus. But a new season does not mean it's time to stop sharing or loving or serving... it just means I have to be creative and find ways to live for Jesus in regular life, away from Neverland. So here we go, Jesus... it's gonna be hard again... looks like I get to trust You!
Much love!
Snapshots from my summer to come (when I have time to upload photos)
